Is this a new dream that is about to come true?

Something amazing seems like is about to finally happen: Europe!

I'll do this for ME

Not to impress anybody
Not to show up
Not to demonstrate to anyone I can do this
I'll do this because it has been my dream since I was a little girl

During this new journey, 
I'll be kind to myself
I'll meet new people that think completely different from me.
I'll become friends with people who see the world from a different angle
I'll learn about new cultures, so many different cultures in one place and in such a short period of time
I'll challenge myself
I'll take time to just stop and to explore
I'll dream big dreams... I'll dare to dream big again
I'll become a doer instead of just the person that wonders and accumulates knowledge
I'll make an impact in others people life, away from my home

I'm opened to new things, to make old things better or just to enjoy and appreciate the things I did not before.

Do you even know what is it that you want the most?

Do you even know what is it that you want the most?
If you do, do you think it is really something worth fighting for? Are you doing something for getting it? Are you getting closer to accomplish it? Or are you just like me at this point in my life where I want so many things that I'm not really sure where to start and even worse, I'm not doing anything specific for getting it.
I'm not a very structured person. I don't follow an agenda or set monthly or weekly goals. I don't want my life to be so organized. I like the "surprise" effect. However, I've realized that I do need some of that, otherwise, how would I get to where I want? I make messes in my mind. Thoughts come and go through and I can't tame them. Lots of times they are never spoken and very often they are the same! 
I'm so bad at expressing my feelings. I prefer listening to other people and not saying much about myself. 
Since we are one day away from 2015, and as it is very common to have new year's resolutions. I'm doing one right now: expressing my feelings and putting my ideas together, starting by writing them down. They are not going to get stuck in my head anymore. Somebody might read it, it might be useful for other people or it may just be useful for me, which is the main reason why I'm doing it! Well, I also want to become a famous writer and I'm also starting here!

It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace

Early this week I was  feelingg down. Do you have those times when you completely fall, stop being strong and just give in? It is weird, I have a strange relationship with those feelings. I do not like feeling that way because I feel sad, I am hopeless and mostly because I'm vulnerable. I don't want anybody to see me that way. However, at the same time, it feels sooo good. I am relived because it is like you touched the bottom and there is nowhere deeper you can go. You can't do anything but embrace those feelings, understand them or just accept them.

I believe in God and I believe every person has the Holly Spirit in their hearts, a voice or whatever you want to call it, that knows who you are, that knows what you feel, that knows what you have been through and most importantly, that knows what you need. That voice reminded me of a song. It was so strange because it fitted perfectly to that moment. The song says: 
"whatever you are doing inside of me, it feels like chaos but somehow there's peace". 
What a perfect line to describe what I was feeling. I am a stubborn person, and I know I have to pay attention and work in so many aspects in my life, but instead, I just go with the flow. I'm always too busy working, going to the gym, taking classes, reading amazing articles, checking facebook, instagram, whatsapp, you name it! But I hardly stop and feel, listen, analyze or consciously decide what my next step will be.
I'm feeling awesome now, but what did I gain this time from this "episode"? I learned that I have to be patient. I'm asking God to guide my way but I let him do that partially.  Yet, I want things my way and I get extremely frustrated because they don't happen that way! But wait, did I stop to think maybe they are not happening because is not the right way, the right time or the right thing?
Realizing that gave me so much peace and has helped me since then to get calm whenever I get anxious.

Let's see how that goes, hopefully I won't forget!

Mi lucha con los muscle ups

Hace ya casi 2 años me sumergí en el mundo de Crossfit y desde ese momento, mi vida ha tenido cambios inimaginables. Crossfit es la disciplina en la que hay que aplicar habilidades de casi todas los deportes, lo cual me gustó pues durante toda mi vida he pasado por muchos de ellos.
Crossfit y yo tenemos una relación de amor y odio, más amor que odio claramente, pero hay momentos que han sido muy frustrantes para mi. Vivo ejemplo de ellos es mi situación actual: mi lucha con los muscle ups. Los quiero, son fantásticos y es mi siguiente meta a lograr, pero al mismo tiempo les temo y han mi mayor obstáculo a vencer por mucho tiempo.
El día de hoy, Jueves 31 de Octubre del 2013, empecé mi verdadera lucha. Una lucha tanto física como mental, una lucha que está sólo en mi, una lucha por remover barreras y limitantes mentales que sólo yo me he puesto. Una lucha por creer en mi y en que lo puedo lograr. En poder llegar, ver esos aros y no tenerles miedo, sino disfrutarlos como otro ejercicio más de mi querido Crossfit. Yo puedo lograrlo pues todo lo puedo a través de Cristo que me fortalece, y esta no va a ser la excepción.
Y sí, me siento estresada, frustrada y presionada, pero verdaderamente en mis intentos pasados no he afrontado esta batalla como deber de ser: no le he puesto el esfuerzo y dedicación que requiere y principalmente, no he puesto mi mente y corazón en ello. Esta vez lo voy a lograr y no me voy a dar por vencida.
 

Standing Still, again!

Why, once again, am I standing still? When did I start reacting instead of acting?
It is kind of frustrating to realize that I started but I didn't make it to the finals. The worse part is that it wasn't because I lost, it was because in one moment I quit, I stopped trying.
OK, but what is the good part? Everything has something positive right? The good part is that it didn't take me long to realize I was standing still again, because the things I was doing started to feel meaningless, with no purpose. So I'll start over again and I will try to try harder this time I promise :)

Only time can tell

It is so hard when you want something so bad and yet, is not the right time to get it.
It is so hard to understand that things have a place, a time and a reason to happen and if you try to force them you will only ruin them.
It is so hard to go through all the obstacles, to learn all the lessons, to fall and get up one more time knowing that you have to try harder and keep fighting because the battle is not over yet. 
Sometimes we think we are ready for them, but the truth is that deep inside, if we pay careful attention to all the signs, we are just trying to rush things up, trying to convince our minds that it is the way to go.
Let life flow, take action of what you can control, give your best to accomplish what you want, and if it is the right thing for you, it will eventually happen: when the time is right, when you are mature enough to handle it, when you have learned the real value of it and when you are strong enough to keep fighting for it even though you already got it. God will put all the pieces together and finally will show you the way to go.

The Main Star of my Movie

Right now we can do so many things without much effort being required: We can get to know new cultures, new people, we can be in so many different places at the same time without even moving, we can talk to a friend who is miles away from us, but since when we are spectators of our life instead of being the main STAR of it?
 
As the world around us keeps moving, we are standing still. We are just watching people passing by and we forget to pursue all our dreams. We need to start experiencing new things, find the meaning and purpose of our life. Sometimes it looks like being sad and depressed is the new way to go.

I'm starting to change my attitude towards life and it feels so good! Making small changes and concentrating on the positive aspects of every situation suddenly transformed my life in a nicer place to live, made me want to be part of my own movie and become the main star! How weird is that, but how amazing at the same time?